Rainy Days

I think that when the good outweighs the bad in your life, then you have to be pretty happy with how things are going. I've been trying to remind myself of all the good things I have in life. Lately I feel like there's a mix of good and bad.

The bad probably isn't that bad all the time. And maybe it's not even bad at all...but really a reminder that helps keep me in check. My summer hasn't been perfect. It's been raining a lot the last 2 days and I think that makes me feel more ready than ever to be done with the summer. It hasn't been bad really, but not ideal. And I've learned a lot from it. I won't get enough hours to fulfill my internship, but I've learned that I need to know exactly what I want and am going to get out of an internship before I take it. Next summer I'll be a little more selective.

In the past few years, I haven't been one to trust people, namely guys, very easily. I don't consider that a bad thing, and I don't think it will change...especially now. I need to let go of him so I can move on.

"Releasing the person is not forgiveness. Forgiveness

is a response to confession. It is rather a releasing of

my hurt and anger so that I am no longer consumed

by them. It is choosing to love people in spite of the wrong

they have done to me. It does not restore the relationship,

but it does allow me to live my life in peace and

love toward others."

Earlier this week I found out that a friend I went to high school with and was on the swimming and diving team with passed away. At first I thought maybe a car accident or something, but found out that he committed suicide. He always seemed like such a happy person and I never would have thought that things were that bad for him. My mom started talking to me about it and I did what I always do with bad situations...changed the subject. I don't like hearing things aren't good for someone, or even talking about when things aren't great for me. It's easier to change the subject. But I am thankful that I will always have people around me to remind me how important I am and how good things really are for me.

Some things are really good for me. My sisters come in 2 weeks! I can't wait to see them! We're going to have so much fun and it will be good to have part of my family here. My family is getting a foreign exchange student back in Yuma, so when they get back from vacation with me, they'll have a new sister for the year. I think that's exciting too.

I finally got an email about my internship, which is a huge sigh of relief for me. Even though I won't fulfill my internship hours this summer, I know that I don't need to be stressing out about getting 3 internships in before I graduate. Things will work out.

I am really looking forward to getting back to school and decorating my apartment! I'm actually looking forward to getting back in general. I have good classes this semester...and I'm thinking of changing my major...just slightly. It's a possibility. I feel like I'm on track. I'm excited to get back and see everyone and be on a schedule again. I'm looking forward to going to church with everyone on Sunday's and playing tennis all the time. Only 23 more days.

I really believe that there's something new to hope for everyday. And I'll continue to believe that. I started listening to The Undeserving and to Ryan Calhoun lately and really like the music. I love finding music and artists randomly and realizing that you really enjoy them.