Moving On

I'm officially addicted to Nicholas Sparks books. Since last week I've finished 2 more of his books...The Last Song and A Bend in the Road. I just went and got another one today to keep me entertained. The Last Song was so good! I've already seen the movie, so I basically knew the gist of what would happen, but I think I liked the book even more! I definitely got a little teary eyed at the end. Movies don't make me cry, but I guess books have a different effect on me.

I've realized that moving on is a lot harder than what I thought. Part of me feels so disconnected because I want so much to understand why things happen the way they do. I heard something that I guess only half applies, but it said "I don't want to lose you but I don't want to use you just to have someone by my side."

The singles edition of the 5 Love Languages book has been a little more relevant to me lately. My mom asked me today what I thought her love language was...I was way off! But when she asked my order of the 5, she was surprised too. I've figured out that acts of service, most of the time, makes me feel guilty. I like when people do things for me, but I find myself feeling guilty later because I don't think I deserve what they did for me. So it's definitely at the bottom of my list

Tonite was a good night. Chris (the lady I live with) had said she was making dinner for Julia's last night in town. She leaves to see her dad for 2 weeks and I'll be gone when she gets back. Dinner was delicious and then Julia said how we were celebrating my birthday too. Their family has a tradition that everyone at the table goes around and says something nice about the birthday person...so that's what they did. It was so sweet. Then they brought out the cutest cake and gave me a bracelet. I'm really gonna miss having Julia around my last 2 weeks here.

My sister's come in 5 days! My little sister will be 18 on Sunday! Ahhh. Crazy.

I get back to school in 16 days. I'm so excited.

"Too often the thing you want most is the thing you can’t have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting someone can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don’t know what they want." - Grey's Anatomy